“It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.” – Confucius
Love is beautiful. Love is life changing. Love is an emotional high. Love is one of the most amazing experiences a person can ever have. Love brings new awareness and change and butterflies and sex.
At the same time, love can kick your ass. It can leave you broken and shattered, lying on the floor in a puddle. It can leave you empty and wondering how you will ever be strong enough to go through such pain again.
Some people are lucky and find that person they want to spend their life with early on and they walk off in the sunset forever. I’m not one of those people. If you’re reading this I’m guessing you’re not either.
Often, it’s hard to have faith in love. It’s hard to believe that EVERY TIME your heart gets broken it has some meaning and eventually you’ll do the work and find the right person.
Remember the scene from Sex and The City where Charlotte says, “I’ve been dating since I was 15. I’m exhausted. Where is he already?” Do you feel that way most of the time? I do. So irritating.
There are so many dating coaches and so much advice on how to date properly, how to communicate, how to be more feminine, how to get a man to become obsessed with you and how to find the love of your life that frankly it becomes overwhelming.
HELP!
How do you keep believing when everything seems so frustrating and impossible?
Let me ask you this. If you don’t believe in love what’s your other option? Unless you truly, honestly, really want to be alone forever then you can give up and stop believing. My mom gave up after my dad died. I don’t think she had it in her to try again and that’s her choice. But, I don’t think you want that. I know I don’t.
So, no matter how many bad dates you go on, how ridiculously awful every guy seems, how much you dread the thought of online dating and being alone forever your only option is to keep believing. Believe that you are unique and wonderful and that you will find someone who will appreciate your gifts.
Believe you can choose the right man. Believe you can be happy and find someone who won’t cheat on you. Believe you are worthy of devotion.
The cold, hard truth about love is that it can kick your ass. But, the way I see it, you have two options. Let it knock you out and keep you out or climb up off that floor, stand up straight and look Love in the eye and say “I got this.”
Thank you, Carrie! Your post is refreshing and inspiring. Love is incredible and bewildering in its duality of complexity and simplicity. Your perspective on the condition is beautiful.