“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Dating can be really frustrating and difficult. But, what if you made it fun instead? What if dating is practice for social interactions and learning how to communicate with the opposite sex on a deeper level?

One of the reasons dating can be so irritating are the limiting beliefs we have and those we put out to the universe.  If you want to read more about limiting beliefs in general read here: What Are Limiting Beliefs and How Do You Squash Them?

Why are you dating? It certainly isn’t to stay single. Obviously you want to find a boyfriend/girlfriend or a husband/wife/partner. If this isn’t happening ask yourself why. Do you really believe that you have no control over the outcome? If you are reading this my guess is that you are starting to suspect that you might be part of the problem.

One of the hardest things to do when dating is keeping an optimistic outlook and continuing to believe things will happen when the timing is right. If you want to be successful when dating I suggest you dump these 5 limiting beliefs immediately!

1. There are no good men/women out there:

Seriously? Do you know how many single people there are in the world? Over 50% of all Americans, or approximately 124 million people are single! So, you do the math. Can you really not find anyone given those numbers?

Yes, a lot of secure, kind men are still married and yes there are two times as many single women over fifty as there are men. Yes, there are a lot of avoidant, selfish assholes in the dating world. But, if you think you are a good person and you are out there dating, surely there are others who are also nice, kind people who are looking for someone.

Sometimes it takes patience and persistence. If you give up you surely won’t find someone. Ask yourself how much of a priority it is to meet someone. Then, ask yourself what type of man you have been attracting. If you have been attracting the wrong type, then perhaps you need to do some work on yourself first.

Or, perhaps you need some coaching and just a little fine tuning. If finding a mate is a top priority then I’d suggest hiring a dating coach. It might be expensive, but consider it an investment in your future.

2. No one will love me for me:

Not true. You are a unique, amazing individual. As the old saying goes, “There’s a lid for every pot”. You just haven’t found the right lid yet!

I struggle with this limiting belief myself. I have never found it easy to find a mate. Sometimes I think I’m too difficult/picky/smart/emotionally complex. I have a million reasons why I think I’m a difficult person to love. But, this is a limiting belief and one that isn’t true.

Stop thinking that whatever your flaws are will stop you from meeting the right person. In fact, those flaws make you who you are and what bothers one person will be amazing and wonderful to another.

We are all unique in our own way and we have to keep looking for the person who finds our uniqueness something special and vice versa.

3. I’m too old/fat/stupid/ugly, etc:

Again, not true. You are none of these things. It is never too late no matter how old you are. The limiting beliefs in your head are keeping you from finding love, not the world.

People find love at any age. Recently there was a story about a WWII veteran who reunited with his first love after SEVENTY-ONE, yes 71 years! So, just because you are forty and not married yet doesn’t mean anything.

People come in all shapes and colors. Some men like thin women. Some men like women with curves. Some men like Asian women. Some men like uber intelligent women. Just because a man doesn’t find you attractive doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive.

Do you like every type of guy? I don’t. I have a certain type and just because I don’t find every man attractive doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them. The same theory applies to women. If a man doesn’t like you there isn’t anything wrong with you. It means you need to go find the one who DOES find you attractive!

4. I can’t date online:

My best friend says this. Why not? Its a tool just like going to a bar or joining a club or getting out in public to meet others. Why can’t you do things? How about thinking you CAN do things?

I think we all hate dating online. We would all much rather meet someone the traditional, old fashioned way. But the older you get, the harder this gets. No longer are we going to college parties, hanging out with friends as much, hitting clubs or bars or starting new jobs.

Anyone can date online. Yes, it can be irritating and frustrating. But, so is dating in general. Why not open up your pool of men? I have actually met two long term boyfriends online. I would say three, but he turned out to be married so we won’t count him.

Think of dating online like a buffet. Instead of going to a sit down meal where there is only one guy, there are TONS of guys and you can choose which ones you like, which ones you want to talk to and which ones you want to date.

5. I will never find someone

If you don’t try, then no, you will never find someone. If you think negatively, then no, you will never find someone. If you think all men are liars, cheaters and players, then no, you will never find someone.

One of my favorite sayings is “like attracts like”. So, before you cast stones and before you judge take a deep look inside. Have you dealt with your issues enough to allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable with another human being? Maybe you think you have, but maybe, in reality, you haven’t.

The only thing stopping you from finding someone is yourself.

If you believe you will never find someone then you never will. The only reason you will remain alone forever is your own limiting beliefs on what you deserve. Our beliefs manifest our reality. If we believe we will always be poor, then we will always be poor. If we believe we will always be alone, we will always be alone.

You do not have to believe anything that limits your life or your future or your relationships. You can have the love you deserve. Believe it.