“I’m a survivor – a living example of what people can go through and survive.” – Elizabeth Taylor

Facts

I am 5’4 1/2″. My name is Carrie. My father was a truck driver. My mother was a stay-at-home mom/insurance broker.  I am a 5th generation (or so) American. I am of European descent. These are facts about me.

I am also a sexual abuse survivor. This is also a fact. Although I would like it not to be true, I cannot deny that it is.

Facts are truths in and of themselves.  Facts are things that do not change no matter how much we may want them to change.

What are your facts?  What do you know about yourself?  I’m not asking about your beliefs or your thoughts.  What are the truths that will not change no matter what you do or think or say?

Does the fact that I’m a sexual abuse survivor make me any less of a person? Does it diminish  my worth or determine the my future?  Of course not.

Whatever your facts are, whether they are good or bad shouldn’t diminish your yours either.

The Past

Don’t be ashamed of your past.  Embrace your struggles and use them to propel you forward.  What secrets do you keep from others?  Why do you keep them? Do you fear judgment or disdain?  Do you fear you will not be accepted?

If people judge you then they are not people you want in your life.  If people do not accept you and your past then they are not people you need in your life.

If you fear you will not be accepted then you are placing judgments on other people that perhaps they do not deserve.  Most people will empathize and understand.  They may not know what to say or how to react, but that’s okay.  Just because they don’t know what to say doesn’t mean they are judging you.

First, forgive yourself for your past.  Whatever happened was outside of your control.  If you are ashamed of the it, then you are ashamed of yourself.  Rise above it. Embrace your past because it is part of you and it isn’t going anywhere.  There is no amount of pretending or avoidance that will make the past disappear.

The Present

Where do you stand in relation to your past?  Does it run your life still? Do the negative messages in your head keep you from being happy?  Do the beliefs you brought forward from childhood dictate how you act now?

What is your story?  Who are you now?  Does the past dictate the preset?  Are you a victim or a survivor?  If you think of yourself as the former ask yourself why. Wouldn’t you prefer to be the latter?

Being a survivor is something you are whether you want to be one or not.  You did survive. You are here.  This is a fact.

Remember, the old saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”?  Unfortunately, a lot of people let their past kill them, but they don’t do it in an obvious fashion.  They do it slowly and subtly.  Many people do not live in the present, but in a state of constant fear and anxiety consumed by what happened to them.  They live in the past.

The difference between a victim and a survivor is what you choose to do with what happened to you.  If you choose to wallow in self pity then you remain a victim.  If you choose to blame others for your life circumstances you remain a victim.

Rise above this.  Every day when you wake up look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I am a survivor. I can do this. My past does not dictate my future”.

The Future

Maybe your past holds the key to your future.  Maybe you were raped and you need to stop hiding and start talking.  Maybe you were emotionally or sexually abused and it is time to free yourself from the shackles of guilt.

There is no future if you continue to live in the past or hide from it.  The past exists, whether you want to acknowledge it and face it or not.  Fear of the unknown is scary, but living in fear is ten million times worse.

Every day you wake up is another day to reinvent yourself.  I’m not saying its easy to let go.  But, it is possible.  There are resources.  Try www.fastereft.com.  Release the negative energy that you are holding onto.

Recently I was processing through something using EFT and I came to realize that a belief I had about myself was really only a negative block held in my physical body as a residual from my past.  It wasn’t real.  It wasn’t true.  It was something I had been holding onto.  But, I could choose to let it go.  I could choose to be free from this negative belief that kept me in fear.

Only you can change your future. You cannot change your past.  Live in the present and create a life that speaks to you instead of a life that dictates and limits you.  Use your past.  Use your strength.

Always remember, you survived.