I’m in love with a Warrior. He is a Father. He is a Brother. He is a Son. He is a Marine. In short, he is a Bad-Ass.
He is also my Lover and my Best Friend.
But, above all, he is a Warrior and accepting the truth of this has made our relationship work.
Loving a Warrior is not like loving an ordinary man. You must know this.
Loving a Warrior will show you strengths about yourself you have never known.
A man who has looked death in the eye more times than you can count on your two hands teaches you how to value life like you never have before.
Every minute you have together is precious because you never know when he will be called away. You never know when your life will be torn apart or when the depths of your dedication will be tested.
Knowing that he has a bond with his men and his team and his brother Marines that was forged in blood and sweat and sacrifice that I can never touch is humbling.
I know I can never match this bond, so instead I do my best to be his safe place to fall.
I try to be the feminine in his uber- masculine world. I try to be his support and his understanding. I try my best to accept his world no matter how foreign it is to me.
He describes horrors as if he were describing what he ate for dinner last night. Everything and everyone has a box. I do my best to try and get him to open the boxes and let a little sun shine from within, so I’m not put away and pushed aside. It isn’t always easy.
Loving a Warrior isn’t easy. He will test you. He will push you. He will irritate you. He will question you without saying the words. Know that the entire time he is only unsure of himself and his ability to love amidst a world of constant chaos.
One of my favorite poems by Jamie Catto — Don’t Fall In Love With a Warrior which states in part:
Don’t Fall In Love With A Warrior
As his love will cast such blazing illumination upon you
That the darkest edges of your resistance will be etched too vividly for you to ever ignore again.
You will be faced with yourself in his reflection, and fixed with his gaze.
His care will trigger weeping for all the unloved places that had ’til now been left unheld
And you will be faced with your grief and your rage
And there will be a melting.
But though he’ll never save you from your pain
He will sit beside you, matching your breath
Loving him allowed me to face my own demons. Instead of looking to him to save me he sat by me. He was not afraid. He had dealt with such demons before. Loving him allowed me to not only face those demons but know I had the strength to defeat them.
Do you have the strength to love a Warrior? If you do it will likely be the most exasperating relationship you have ever had. But, if you can hold your own and if you can stick it out in the end it will be the most satisfying.
Loving a Warrior isn’t easy, but its worth it.
I think that is what I am falling in love with, a Warrior. Ironically, I just journaled how he has made me face my demons, without actually telling me how or what. He does conform to society expectations of polite sometimes but he always manages to meet my needs and treat me appropriately and makes the effort without me realizing he had paid attention to some minor detail that actually matters. He doesn’t like hystronics and drama, but he will be there for me, when I come back down to earth.
Beautiful and infuriating at the same time isn’t it?!