“I don’t want to be alone, I want to be left alone.” – Audrey Hepburn
Anyone who’s an extrovert won’t get this post at all. However, if you have a friend or loved one who is an introvert you may want read it.
The original meaning of the words “extrovert” and “introvert” are different than what we consider them to be today. Today people consider an extrovert as someone who is social and outgoing, while an Introvert is shy and withdrawn.
But it isn’t so simple.
I can talk. I can talk a lot. I have opinions and I’m very passionate. I can seem somewhat gregarious. Most people assume I’m an extrovert. But, they would be very wrong. Just because I can talk your ear off and stand up for myself doesn’t mean I’m social. If you drop me in the middle of a party, I will find one person to engage in conversation with, or I might even pick up a book and start reading.
If your our friend or loved one can talk to you and be really engaged in a one-on-one setting, it does not mean they’re an extrovert.
What’s is an Introvert?
A true introvert focuses energy on the inside world on intimate interactions, but settings with large groups will drain our energy. Think of our emotional energy like a gas tank. We have a certain amount of gas every day or every week. Once we run out of gas we can’t go anywhere or do anything until we refill the tank.
The problem with being an introvert is that we like to be alone. We don’t get along with just anybody and everybody. We shy away from social interactions and we spend so much time away from other humans that at times we feel isolated.
Sometimes doing too much requires massive amounts of emotional energy. Energy we don’t have. When I was starting this blog I was trying to get back into dating and found that I couldn’t do both. I only had so much energy to expend and I had to pick one. The blog won out. Sorry, guys.
How Do We Function?
Introverts crave true connections but these connections can be so few and far between that we’re left feeling like no one cares which again leaves us feeling isolated.
I often want to go out more and be around people and have fun and be like everyone else, but I find myself dreading the thought of it. It takes so much energy to make small talk and be funny and witty with numbers of people. It wears you down.
The question becomes whether you should force yourself to do something just for the sake of getting out or if you stay in and deal with the aforementioned loneliness.
I’ve found that one of the best ways to not feel so alone and not be overwhelmed is to seek out others who desire the same type of interactions. Friendships with these types may be slow and take time to develop- but once they do these people will be faithful friends.
At the same time, as much as I am used to it and I quite enjoy it, sometimes being an introvert sucks sometimes.
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