“Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future.”- Swami Sivananda

Do you have a constant sense of malaise, depression, boredom or apathy that never seems to go away? Do you read books, try medications, listen to podcasts or attend seminars and never seem to feel better?

Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?

I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety and even suicidal ideation since I was thirteen years old. Experiencing years of sexual abuse and having emotionally detached parents left me with a shattered self-image and distrustful view of the world. Although there is nothing I can do about the past I can do something about the present and the future and so can you.

We are all told that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and they have identified genes that make some individuals more prone to depression (or at least lower moods) than others.
Research has also shown that the hippocampus is smaller in some depressed people but that the use of anti-depressants spurs the growth of nerve cells in this area. What Causes Depression

I took anti-depressants for about eight years and I will admit that they stabilized me and kept me from wanting to kill myself every day. But, was I happy? No. Did they elevate my mood? No.

Eventually I weaned myself off. I believe this was due to a ton of therapy and change in thought process that allowed the nerve cells in my hippocampus to generate on their own instead of needing medication.

Why Are We All So Depressed?

There is more to depression than a chemical imbalance and a genetic predisposition. Why are so many of us depressed in the United States? According to the World Health Organization the U.S. has the second highest depression rate (second to France) at 19.2% and that the median age for onset is 22.7 which is the earliest among all countries. Depression Rates

What if depression is due in huge part to the words we use and the stories we tell ourselves and what if we can get rid of our depression by getting rid of the self-deprecating and negative words we use? What if we have to rewire the hardwiring in our brains?

Motivational speaker Tony Robbins and Hypnotherapist Marisa Peer believe that changing your words changes your life, as does Robert Firestone PhD who spent a lifetime studying the impact of the critical inner voice on self-esteem.

Tony Robbins calls his theory “Transformational Vocabulary” and he believes that “by changing your habitual vocabulary – the words you consistently use to describe emotions – you can instantaneously change how you think, how you feel, and how you live.” Change Your Words Change Your Life

Marisa Peer doesn’t have a name for her theory, but she states, “Your mind does what it thinks you want it to do.” So, if you tell yourself things like, “This commute is killing me. My boss is stressing me out or I can’t keep doing this job anymore your mind will believe it is under a threat and your body will trigger fight or flight and you’ll end up with the flu or a cold. Words Are Powerful

Robert Firestone PhD is a psychologist who has written multiple books on the topic of the critical inner voice and how conquering it leads to transformation in your life. He has developed a protocol called voice therapy which aims to permanently change your self-limiting and destructive thoughts. Voice Therapy

All three of these world-renowned individuals have come up with the same theory which asserts that your life is impacted and structured by the words you use and your very happiness depends on you changing those words into something better.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should stop medication or not take medication. What I want you to do is think about your mood every day. Do you feel happy and fulfilled for the most part? Do you experience joy and contentment?

I have come to realize that what affects my mood the most are the thoughts in my head and the stories I tell myself and if I can control the thoughts in my head and turn them from negative to positive or at least non-insulting then I have a much happier day.

My guess is even if you’re on anti-depressants you’re still experiencing frustration, aggravation, sadness, melancholy or anger on a regular basis. If so, then I want you to ask yourself one question, “What do I say to myself every day?”

Try This Instead

Changing your words is more than just changing vocabulary. Changing your words changes your reactions and in turn changes your experience. For example, if you say to yourself, “I’m feeling so overwhelmed right now” how do you think you’ll feel? Exhausted, right?

If you change the word overwhelmed to challenged you are now in a frame of mind that opens you to possibilities. If you say, “I’m scared” about a presentation or an encounter what does that tell you? It tells your body to start pushing adrenaline which is toxic when released over extended periods. What if you said, “I’m excited” instead of I’m scared. It puts you into an anticipatory mood instead of a frightened mood.

The first step to changing your words is to become conscious of the words and phrases you use. Start to track them, whether by keeping a journal or making notes on your phone or PC. Are there certain words or phrases you use more than others? Then, pick three to five and words or phrases and replace them from the negative to either a positive or something less abrasive and start using them.

Also, be aware of the metaphors/phrases that you use. Even Dr. Phil talks about this on his show when he encounters guests who use catastrophic language. If you use phrases such as, “You’re killing me. I don’t have a life, I’ve lost everything, my life has no meaning, my heart is shattered, my life is ruined, that relationship was a disaster, etc., you are using terms that will create overactive emotions.

Catastrophic language leads to catastrophic beliefs.

It will be natural to fall back into your old patterns so don’t beat yourself up. Retraining the brain is like training anything and it takes time and effort. Tony Robbins has put together a 10 day challenge if you’d like to use it as a starting point. 10 Day Challenge

Remember that the words we attach to our experience become our experience because our perception is our reality. So, if you want to fix your depression and bring more happiness into your life change your words and start telling yourself something good for a change.

Try it out. Do it for three days and then five and then ten. Throw out the old and try something new.

Because, if you WANT something different you need to DO something different.